There are many moments in life when you have to ask someone a critical question that could determine your salary, whether you have a spouse, whether you get a job—your entire future. Do you know how to get the answer you want? Do you understand how much influence you actually have over your fate? The truth is, how that person is going to respond depends more on what's going on in your head than it does on what's going on in theirs. Your expectations, the words you choose, the environment in which you ask these questions—so many factors that you control—can determine whether you hear a "yes" or a "no."